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tv   The Daily Show With Jon Stewart  Comedy Central  December 11, 2012 10:00am-10:30am PST

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from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. ( cheers and applause ) captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to the daily show. my name is jon stewart. we have a good one tonight. bishop gene robinson is going to be here a all i know about religion is this: apparently he can only move diagonally. that's a chess move, baby. a bishop chess joke. let me just give you my lunch money now. let's begin tonight in the world of sport. i don't know if anybody here knows this. i happen to enjoy sport. i like watching other people
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talk about them. i like listening to people on the radio call in to talk about sports. you know what i do with that knowledge? i make can't-miss bets. you know what i do with my winnings? you think i do nice things with them for society? no. i spend all my gambling winnings on the first commercial i see after a game ends. hello, brooklyn lantern. looks like some people won't have to eat pasta again with a flashlight. no! by the way i do want to tell that woman you could have just somebody hold the flashlight. then you could hold it for somebody. because i can tell you're really frustrated. the sports world has suffered tragic off the field incidents. the dallas cow buoys lost a player in a drunk driving accident and the murder-suicide a week before. that led to sports commentator
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bob costas commentating on this at half time >> you want actual perspective on this? a bit of it comes from the kansas city based writer jason whittlock from the end of his article. "our current gun control ensures that more and more domestic disputes will end in the ultimate tragedy. in the coming days javan belcher's actions and their possible connection to football will be analyzed. who knows? but here is what i believe. if javan belcher didn't possess a gun, he and cassandra perkins would both be alive today sniem and now the marching band. all right. obviously this is a tragedy. it's more complicated than that. if we're going to start addressing issues you have to talk about domestic abuse, mental illness, the head trauma, the football and the drugs they give the guys for pain. i'm assuming that costas is leaving to that cleatus, the fox
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robot. still he was trying to start a conversation. he succeeded. >> that belonged on nbc cable channel. then you expect that over there. you don't expect that during a football game >> it's nfl sunday. it's half time. god bless america is playing in the background. do i really want bob costas giving me a dissertation on the second amendment? i want to watch football >> jon: really? that's when i go take a piss. but okay. yes an nfl half time show is no time to talk about violence in the nfl. it's a time to watch endless slow-motion replays of that today's hardest hits. that was a great hit. yeah, i think the guy's brain came out of his ear hole on that one. sucking it up like a man. of course he'll never be the same again. half time isn't the right time. what about at a press conference? what about at a press conference like after the aurora shooting s when the mayor of new york
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called for an examination of gun laws? >> the body is not even out of the theater before he started to jump into this debate. i think there is some level of political protocol that you need to have in a tragedy like this where you wait. be quiet for 24 hours at least. >> jon: that's clearly in that situation it's not where it is being discussed but when. i'm assuming that the venue was good. it's just that the mayor did not obey the common sense waiting period we place on gun... ammmm... conversations. you don't want somebody in an emotional state just shooting off their mouths about guns. it's not just the where and the when of the conversation about guns. it's the who >> is this what you really want to hear at half time?
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sportscaster bob costas lecturing football fans -- that means you -- about gun control? >> mr. costas, you don't know that much about what you're talking about. stick to the area that you're really smart about which is sports. i wrote a book called shut up and sing. this would be shut up and comment on sports. we're not interested in what bob costas thinks about guns >> jon: but why do you get to talk? ( cheers and applause ) no disrespect, i don't much care what you have to say about anything. yet whenever i turn on the tv, you're there talking about everything. that's a subject of my book: shut up and shut up. so clearly... ( cheers and applause ) that one was easy. clearly sports commentators they don't get to comment about gun violence and singers don't get to comment about gun violence
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either. right, bob? >> ted nugent issued a quote saying we thought bob costas was smarter than that. only fools blame tools instead of human failings. >> jon: how come that guy doesn't have to shut up and sing? or shut up and whatever it is that he does. i'm beginning to figure out the rules though. if you want to talk about ghoul violence, gun culture, gun control you have to be a gun expert not just a sports cast or amuse i cannian. even the right person can't talk about it too soon after a tragedy. disrespectful. how long do you have to wait to say there should be more guns after a tragedy? like the shooting in oslo. >> you have 600 people there on that island, and the security procedures that were there were not noneffective. if you don't have a gun, you don't have security. i have a big laugh when they ask me for security guards but we don't want them to have a gun. if you don't have security with a gun then you're not having security. >> jon: that's the thing about these norwegians.
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let me tell you something. they don't understand how much you need guns. it's a harpoon culture. do you understand what i'm saying? they shoot whales. they don't know that [bleep]. that was about the mass killing in norway. but at least they respectfully waited until 48 hours afterwards. in fact, if you want to have a conversation about our gun culture, you better make sure you're being tasteful in respecting the victims and their families. of course if you're trying not to have that conversation... >> this guy is six-four, 320, he could have killed her with his bare hands >> belcher killed her i guess costas does not think belcher is strong enough to asphyxiate his girlfriend or smart enough to hook up a hose into his garage and kill her through asphyxiation >> look at o.j. simpson. he went over there with a knife. murdered his ex-wife and her friend. >> was she killed with a gun or with a knife? >> jon: yeah. knife, knife, knife, knife!
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nicole simpson was murdered with a knife. does costas want to ban knives because then we'd have to cut steak with our gun and that would be terrible. sti, i think i get the rules now. i'm just trying to get the rules. you can talk about guns just not in the immediate wake of any event involving guns. with approximately 30 gun-related murders daily in the united states when will it ever be the right time to talk about the issues? >> a rare moment in new york city. police say there were no reported slayings, stabbings, shootingors or knifings during a 36-hour period from sunday night until tuesday morning. sniem that was two weeks ago. we missed our [bleep] window. why ruin the celebration? we'll be right
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( cheers and applause ) >> jon: welcome back to the show. last week you might remember the united states senate voted down a treaty that would give disabled people around the world equal rights. we covered it in a segment we called "please tell me this is not possible." funny story. it turns out it brings me to our news segment. the senate is to inept that
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sooner or later one of these guys is just going to sit on his own balls. that is not that hard to do. as you know, the senate currently engaged in a high-stakes chess game over the fiscal cliff. one of the pieces they're moving around the board is the debt ceiling. president obama recently said that he, the president, should have the authority to raise the debt ceiling not the congress. they use it as a bargaining chip. that's not rye. senate minority leader mitch mcconnell knows what that means >> the president of the united states, now he's asking for an unlimited -- unlimited -- authority to borrow whenever he wants to for whatever amount he wants to? >> jon: (musming) all right. so the senator clearly doesn't
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know what the debt ceiling means. the debt ceiling is a control imposed on the treasury department by congress in order to, you know, is there just some well informed and respected authority that can explain what the debt ceiling is >> it gives the government permission to pay back the money we already borrowed >> jon: totally right. i didn't understand it because he was talking too fast but i think he's [bleep] right. and i like that lady too. i don't know her. even if senator mcconnell doesn't understand the debt ceiling he does understand how to play senate chess. he knows while obama wants the debt ceiling debate removed, senate majority leader harry reid, he don't have the 51 votes he needs to get that passed so mcconnell is going to trap reed in a corner. >> an unlimited authority to borrow whenever he wants to for whatever amount he wants to?
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if the majority leader supports that proposal i would hope we can get a vote on it to give his members a chance to express themselves as to whether or not they think that's a good way forward for our country. >> jon: [bleep]. it is a classic opening. he's proposing a bill that he doesn't support, mcconnell, knowing that the president will look bad when harry reid refuses to call a vote on it >> senator mcconnell made a serious offer dealing with the debt ceiling in this country one of the most important issues facing the country. it's a serious offer. i personally haven't read it. my staff has looked at it. it's important enough that i would like to have a vote on it this afternoon. >> jon: haven't seen that before. harry reid just ate mcconnell's chess pieces. turns out reed had the 51 votes to pass mcconnell's sarcastic bill and said, fine, let's do this, mo-ho. really if it weren't for the
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part where harry reid said very serious offer that i haven't personally read, the whole thing almost sounded professional. now, mcconnell better have a pretty strong counterattack here. if he wants to stay in the game. >> matters of this level of controversy always require 60 votes. i would ask my friend the majority leader if he would modify his consent agreement to set the threshold for this vote at 60 >> jon: that's the bull [bleep] right there. passing a law in the senate requires 51 votes. there is no extra controversy rule that turns it into 60. parliamentarian will be like force transvaginal ultrasounds. we're going to need 75 on that one. that's crazy. that's controversy. i mean, anything that the ladies from the view can make a meal of, we've got to have 80. i'm sorry. oh, three nacho tuesday?
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let's just have three people. mitch mcconnell should know that just about the only time you need 60 votes is to break a filibuster. the democrats aren't going to philadelphia brister his bill. ... aren't going to filibuster his bill. wait a minute. that isn't mean... >> now the republican leader objects to his own idea. i guess we have a filibuster of his own bill. >> jon: wow! mitch mcconnell proposed a bill and now he's filibustering his own bill. let me put this in chess terms. mcconnell walked up to the table and sat on his own balls. in fact, the presiding office officer... ( cheers and applause ) ... claire mccaskill has to check to make sure she heard right >> is there objection to the original request? >> yeah, i object. objection is heard.
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jon: you see what you did there, mitch mcconnell? mitch mcconnell sat on his balls so hard, he broke claire mccaskill's neck. we'll be right wíwíwíwíwíwíwíwíwíwíwí ? -x
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welcome back. my guest tonight is the bishop of the episcopal diocese of new hampshire. his new book is called god believes in love.
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straight talk about gay marriage. please welcome to the program bishop gene robinson. >> thank you. i have a present for you. i brought you a dreidel. ( applause ) i read the instructions on the back. it's a gambling dreidel >> jon: they all are. thank you. i don't have but thousands of these. now, do you go to hanukkah celebrations play a little dreidel >> i don't do the gambling thing jon: of course not. gambling. i meant the fun. >> i'm more a seder kind of guy jon: that's not for me. it's come on, just eat. >> it goes on for hours jon: and you're celebrating freedom >> i like that jon: the jews wandered for 40 years but i can't eat now.
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we'll have a seder sometime. i always leave a seat open. here's what you've done here. you got this book "god believes in love." the timing of it could not be more appropriate. you have the supreme court of the united states is about to take up the case of whether or not the defense of marriage act is constitutional. is it? >> i'll tell you. the timing was so amazing. you know, we're reaching this moment in which even people of faith -- maybe especially people of faith -- are seeing that there is a way way forward on this gay marriage issue. we're seeing it in all ages, all races, all denominations. you know, they're looking at our families. they're looking at our relationships. they're looking at how we raised our kids. what they're seeing is all american family values. you think the conservatives would be for that. wouldn't you >> jon: it's so surprising to me that this is not a conservative issue to try and bring more
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people into the fundamental unit that they believe to be the foundation of any rational structured society. more people getting married seems better than less. >> absolutely. i think back to raising our two daughters, you know, the wild gay lifestyle that everybody talks about was saturday night playing board games and watching the golden girls and going to church on sunday morning and making sure there were clean clothes for school on monday. our families are like other people's families. we're just seeing the tipping point, i think, in american culture. and in religious denominations >> jon: i feel like many people of faith are struggling to get some foundation to agree with this because their experience is exactly what you say. but they need to not also abandon scripture. that's what you try and do here >> i was raised in a very conservative seminary out west.
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the evangelicals are even finding their young people who have gay and lesbian friends are leaving them because they know the things that are being said about lbgt people are simply not true. my sense is that there's a real hunger even amongst the more conservative religious denominations to find a way forward on this. the scripture says where love is, there is god also. they see that love in our families. i think people can't help but be supportive. >> jon: i read the bible because i stay in a lot of hotels. >> you've got to watch those gid ions. >> jon: but it always struck me when they used the biblical foundation to be against gay marriage they would use leviticus at times that says to lay with a man is an abomination. if you read leviticus, eating shellfish is an abomination. why aren't they also trying to
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shut down red lobster? do you know what i mean? where is the consistency of thought there? >> well there's not a lot of consistency. the fact of the matter is, you know, we have to take scripture in its context. you know, they tried to rope jesus into this thing, right? here's a guy who in a culture that virtually demanded marriage, a single guy spending most of his time with 12 men singled out three of them for leadership. one of them is known in the bible as the one whom jesus loved. now i'm not saying jesus was gay. but let's be careful to rope this guy in for a husband-wife and 2.2 children as a model for families. he knew about families of choice. and so do l.g.b.t. people >> jon: i've heard some say it was a last brunch and not a supper. some have said. >> that would have made it really clear.
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wouldn't it? >> jon: i want to ask you about sort of the pushback you faced in the community of faith and all this sorts of thing. the book is called "god believes in love" it's on the book shelves now. we're talking to bishop gene robinson. we'll be right bac
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>> jon: all right.
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come on. daddy needs a new pair of... i just lost a good part of our audience. that's our show. join us tomorrow night at 11:00. here it is your moment of zen. >> here with reaction author columnist eric rush civil rights attorney, radio talk show host >> you don't even have the decency not to interrupt somebody >> you are an embarrassment, sir . shut up. please shut captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org